Monday, November 5, 2012


By: Fake R&B Thug

My friends we are finally here! In a matter of several hours this long nightmare will be over. The 2012 presidential election has been one of the weirdest, annoying, draining and frustrating events I have ever witnessed. It started with all the weirdoes and losers in the Republican primaries from Krazy Eyez Killah aka Michele Bachman --with her Downlow husband by her side to the Stupidest Guy in the World aka Rick Perry, to the President of Turning a Hoe into Housewife aka Newt Gingrich. Then you have The Guy Who Loves Pizza and Women Who Are Not His Wife…in Dat Order, aka Herman Cain, and finally the Biggest Party-Pooper Ever Created aka Rick Santorum.

The presidential primary season showed the world how weak of a candidate Mitt Romney is because it took him several months to defeat these lames. When Mitt was finally able to get rid of the clown car full of idiots his campaign was broke. Now Romney having to focus on raising money again for the general election allowed President Obama’s campaign to use their massive war chest to bombard the airwaves in swing states during the summer with negative ads against Mitt. Gone was the theme of hope and change from 2008. The President’s new presidential campaign slogan for 2012 was READ MORE HERE--->
scorch earth and auto bailout. Lucky for Romney his SuperPac friends were there to pick up the slack with their own bombardment of negative ads against President Obama.

Counting both the Republican primary and general election, Mittens television ads have been 99% negative to President Obama’s  87%. So imagine if you lived in the states of Ohio, Florida, Virginia, Iowa, Nevada, Wisconsin, Colorado and home state to the illustrious Petey Pablo, North Carolinaaaa! Every other TV ad has been about politics in the states I just listed. It’s enough to drive even the sanest person crazy or send a strategically placed 4-year-old into tears of exhaustion and despair. Well friends, the good news is in less than 36 hours all this madness will hopefully be over and we can get back to commercials about turkey, Black Friday deals, Christmas and boner pills.

This election is important! As a matter of fact, all elections are important and it is sad that only 60% of eligible voters participate in voting every four years for President of the United States of America. People have given their lives for the right to vote. One President sacrificed his party’s popularity in a region of this country to pass the Voting Rights Act of 1965, but yet I personally know dumb ass individuals who say, "I am not going to vote because it’s just 1 vote. My measly little vote doesn’t really matter." For those of us who are planning to vote or have already voted there are some things I want you to do before you vote. 

First, do not watch the news --especially cable news, before the election. The news is there to hype you up, scare you or in CNN’s case --bore you to death. Second, if you are reading this and are still undecided, I want you to GO TO HELL…LIKE NOW! One man has been president for 3 ½ years and the other man has been running for president for the last 7 years. They are not unknown commodities. One is for healthcare, the other is not; one is for tax cuts for the wealthy and the other is not; one believes in the role of government and the other does not. This election is about jobs, the economy, health reform, Supreme Court appointments, women’s right (sad) and unfortunately race relations. Seven states, fifteen counties, and about 600,000 people will decide who will become the new leader of the free world.

Leadership has been a central theme in this campaign with Romney and his allies stating that the President lacks the leadership to lead this country out of a slow recession. They love to bring up how Mittens lead a company as CEO and lead a state as Governor. But what they won’t tell you is as CEO of Bain Capital, Mitt's company never invented or sold anything; the company’s main goal was to make money. Now making money is not bad but it is how you make your money that is also important because drug dealers make money too. As Diamond from the hood classic, Players' Club famously quipped to her wayward-low-rent-stripper-ingĂ©nue cousin, "make the money, DON’T let it make you!" Sadly, Mitt did not take heed to Diamond’s warning. Bain Capital was in the business of buying companies to break them up and sell them off for profit. The company was a pioneer in outsourcing US jobs to other countries like India and China because of their low wages. Mittens only cared about keeping his family wealthy and taking jobs away from middle class families.That’s not leadership, that’s greed --plain and simple.

Healthcare reform takes leadership; pulling this country out of the great recession takes leadership; rescuing the American auto industry takes leadership; bringing to justice our country’s greatest enemy takes leadership and ending a misguided war takes leadership…and guess who has accomplished all of these thing…*wait for it*…President Barack Obama, that’s who! Speaking of leadership, this week reminds us as a nation -- especially those on the east coast, what government can do when lead by the right person *coughs President Obama*. Governor of New Jersey, Chris Christie, two weeks prior to Hurricane Sandy was with the Romney campaign in Virginia questioning President Obama’s leadership, but after Hurricane Sandy crushed New Jersey’s coastline it was Gov. Christie who went on national and cable news programs praising the President’s quick response to aid the victims of  Hurricane Sandy. 

Conversely, Hurricane Katrina reminds us what government can do when lead by the wrong person. Three states were left under water without government aid for days, courtesy of the previous President, George W. Bush. However, if you think George W. was a horrible President, imagine what will happen if, Mitt “Patholigical-Liar-Will-Do-And-Say-Anything-To-Win-The-Presidency-Which-Includes-Making-Sure-Big-Bird-Never-Works-In-This-Town-Again” Romney becomes president! Circling back to Gov. Christie or as I affectionately like to call him, “Stay Puft Marshmallow Man,” although he was Mittens strongest ally on the campaign trail, Gov. Christie has done everything to endorse President Obama, but publicly hold a press conference to announce his endorsement of President Obama for the 2012-2016 presidential term. However, you and me both know who Thicky Ricardo aka Gov. Christie will be voting for tomorrow…and his name rhymes with Marack Fobama!

President Obama has been a great president but you would never know it if you listened to the Republicans and right-wing pundits. They like to paint President Obama as an "Affirmative Action President." A President that is only in his position because somebody gave it to him and not because he earned the position. That is why the Republicans and right-wing pundits say the President cannot speak without a teleprompter in front of him. This is why the Republicans, right-wing pundits and Hair Club For Men Test Trials Experiment Gone Horribly Wrong aka Donald Chump Trump, continues to request to see the President’s college transcripts. So to Fox News, the Washington Times, the Weekly Standard, the National Review, the Daily Caller, right-wing pundits and the Chump, I say to thee, Fuck You and your cock-eyed Momma!

Tuesday November 6th 2012, is Election Day, so I have a guide for those who will be watching the results because I believe President Barack Obama is going to win and I will be watching the Fox News channel like I did in 2008... just for shits and giggles and to remind myself that a mind, is TRULY a terrible thing to waste. There is no greater pleasure in election politics than watching “reporter’s” at Fox News’ reaction when they have to call a state for President Obama. It is so funny because you know deep down that they want to yell in the camera ‘What are you doing America, can’t you see he is black and all the good jobs will go to his homies!’

The media is predicting that this will be a close election and a very long election night. Some think it will be like 2000 or 2004, and we will not know who is President until the next day or the weeks following the election, to which I say, bullshit! I believe somewhere between 11:30 pm - 12:30am we will know who will either be the 44th President of the United States in his 2nd term or the 45th President of the United States of America.  I’m staying up to find out. 

For those who cannot stay up all night, here is a quick viewer guide for you: if President Obama wins Pennsylvania, Iowa, Wisconsin and Ohio by 11:15pm = GAME. THE. FUCK. OVAH! It should be noted, that Mitt does not have a feasible path to the 270 electoral votes without winning the states of Ohio or Wisconsin.

Sidebar: Early voting has been a tool to stop voter suppression in swing states and no swing state needs early voting more than Florida and Ohio. Now if you listen to the GOP they will tell you that President Obama’s advantage in early voting has been erased by Mitt Romney, but that is not the case. The President’s votes are up in Ohio in early voter votes by 30% and up in Iowa by 40%. The Republicans and right-wing pundits are counting the early voting numbers from the South as a way of saying Obama is losing or is going to lose. It is the same way they are saying that the national numbers show the race as tied, but everyone knows we elect a President through the Electoral College and NOT the popular vote.

The Republicans and right-wing pundits are also blaming Hurricane Sandy for stopping Mittens so called momentum, which NEVER existed. It is true that Mitt got some push for his campaign after the first debate, but that was wiped away after debates 2 and 3. The Republicans and right-wing pundits are also trying to start a narrative that the President will not win the popular vote and therefore his 2012-2016 term will be illegitimate. Strange thing, former President George W. Bush, a Republican, also won the election in 2000 without winning the popular vote. “The Thirst” to invalidate President Obama and his candidacy, both defies logic and is just plain sad.

Since everybody with a blog, website, Twitter feed or Facebook page is making a prediction on the election, I think your boy (moi) should too! 

My Prediction: Mitt Romney will win all the states John McCain won in 2008 plus Indiana, Florida, and North Carolina giving him giving a total of 235 electoral votes and making him a Big FAT Loser…deal Mittens…DEAL! President Barack Obama will win the remaining states, giving him a total of 303 electoral votes and making him the winner and undisputed champ of the free world! And when President Obama wins I want those who are reading this post with a twitter account to tweet the following message to the President, Twitter handle, @BarackObama, “Congratulations Mr. President, 4 More Years Playa! You are the best! I’m also happy that your campaign will cease and desist from bombarding my email with gazillions of daily emails asking me for money.  Oh, can I get a job…come on Big Homie, it’s yo’ girl or boy, such and such!"

Lastly, I’m an awful winner! It’s a known fact that I take pleasure in gloating in my opponent’s face. That being said, I need you readers with Twitter accounts to also tweet to the following people’s Twitter handle: @PaulRyanVP , @KarlRove, @MurphyMike, @Steele_Michael, @DickMorrisTweet, @DRUDGE, @TuckerCarlson, @MichelleMalkin, @SeanHannity, @FoxNews, @IngrahamAngle , @Brithume, @RupertMurdoch, @FoxAndFriends, @JohnKasich, @FrankLuntz, @NewtGingrich, and of course @MittRomney

NOTE: The tweets to the individuals listed above should be respectful and tasteful, for example: 

1. Hahahahahahahahahahaha, suck it LOSER!

2. Black wins again!

3. Socialism for all!

4. It hurts, it’s written all over your face, you don’t have to say a word!

5. Reagan sucked as the President and he was senile!

6. Long Live King Barack!

***Remember*** When tweeting the individuals listed above, tact and graciousness is the standard, ha ha!