Tuesday, February 8, 2011

6 THINGS I LEARNED WHILE VISITING NIGERIA


This past December, I visited Nigeria for six weeks after a couple of decades of being away. Since it had been quite some time since the last time I visited, there were some things I didn't quite expect...and then there were things that just come with the territory.

Anyway, check out the 6 things I learned while visiting Nigeria.

My sister in the white sweater walking through the market
 1. When Uzi totting gang members rush the market trying to rob merchants as you sit outside getting your hair braided (Why I’m even outside getting my hair braided is an entirely different question for another day --not to mention my hair braider didn't even tell me what was going on. She just jumped up and hauled ass...now  I ask, what part of the game is that?), remember that although you nearly pissed your pants and everyone around you (including yourself) is running for their lives…this is “suppose to be fun and exciting,” *blank stare* according to my cousin Adango

2. When everyone keeps complaining about 'hammer time', remember it has nothing do with that ridiculously wack diss video MC Hammer put out a couple months ago and everything to do with the weather...winter a'coming!

The Little Rascals: My mischievous cousins visiting the village for the holidays 
3. Everyone is a suspect! First, let me preface by saying that what I enjoyed most about visiting Nigeria was being around my family (this was my first time meeting many of my relatives). From Christmas Eve until after New Years, my sister, my mom and I went to the village and stayed in a house with about 8 of my aunts and uncles and their respective spouses and ALL their children (we were at least 30 deep with ages ranging from infants to AARP members). With that being said, it is common in Nigeria for things -- ESPECIALLY your things, to come up missing… this does NOT exclude the times you are amongst fam.

4. A bucket shower can feel like the real deal if you get the right size cup and you develop a mean dowse game. Oh and can you believe some folks *coughs* my mom and sister, had the  nerve to call me bougie just because I required 2 full buckets of water to shower with instead of 1...what was I thinking *insert side eye* how selfish of me!

5. Expect the unexpected! When someone angrily screams “yes, I will fight her!” Don’t be surprise if the “her” that person is talking about means you and the person fighting you is your seemingly innocent 4-year-old cousin. Let's be clear! I will fight a child (infants are NOT exempt), the elderly and the mentally challenged! Needless to say, lil' Miracle (Yes, Miracle of all names!) now knows… and as I always say, knowing is half the battle.

6. If you want to leave a Nigerian airport with all your belongings, you better learn how to make it rain on the airport staff…they’re NOTORIOUS for gankin' folks for bar soaps to play stations...it don't get no ill-er!

2 comments:

  1. Honey!
    I need ur blog posts in my life in the worst way....u r too hilarious! Keep em coming....I read/viewed everything u put out thus far.....thx*wink*

    ReplyDelete
  2. The photos from you will go away from page4.me/ their screen in sometime, Official Website unless your close friends want to maintain them safe as well as Install Snapchat on PC, Android & iPhone Free Guide take a screenshot of them. Else the photos that they didn't Snapchat App conserve themselves will certainly Snapchat Download obtain erased immediately.

    ReplyDelete